I have to start today’s post with something that I happened to read this morning, in my morning meditation book, The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.  First let me say that Ms. Beattie is one of the smartest women I have ever read!  She is my inspiration on many levels to continue writing and my hat is off to her and I am honored to be able to quote her today, as a part of my own post.  Please read on…

October 11^th

How easy it is to blame our problems on others.  “Look at what he’s doing…”  “Look how long I’ve waited…”  “Why doesn’t she call?” … “If only he’d change then I’d be happy.”

Often, our accusations are justified.  We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated.  In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire.  But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people’s hands.  We call this codependency.

The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid, is to acknowledge our own feelings.  We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace – within ourselves.  We know our happiness isn’t controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is.  We call this acceptance.

Then we decide that although we’d like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason.  Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that’s better than we could have orchestrated.  We call this faith.

Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves.  That is called recovery.

It’s easy to point our finger at another, but it’s more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.

–Melody Beattie—

The Language of Letting Go; pages 296, 297

See what I mean?  She’s brilliant in an all-around smart-lady way…ya know?  This post is perfect timing today for me and for some of the struggles I encounter on a daily basis.  Maybe they ring true for you, too.  I hope you find the wisdom in Ms. Beattie’s words and if you do, I encourage you to pick up one or more of her books; Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself, Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time or The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today’s Generation; just to name a few.

Be well.